Facebook Official
by iflip4dolphins
Summary: Life is complicated. Facebook is worse. AU, FFIV.
1. Of Roommates and Friend Requests

Facebook Official

(Chapter One: Of Roommates and Friend Requests)

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything... which is probably a good thing.

_Directions_

If you see something that looks like this [**Rydia Mist**: has no idea what's going on...] then it's a status update. All comments below are replies. If you see something like this [**Cecil Harvey** ||**Rosa Farrell**] then it's a PM. Everything else will be stated directly.

* * *

**Rydia Mist **_is now friends with _**Rosa Farrell **_and _**3 **_other people_

**Astrid Pollendina**: Well, roomie, welcome to hell!

**Rosa Farrell**: Astrid, it's not that bad here.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Hush, Farrell. Don't ruin my melodramatic moment here.

**Rydia Mist**: …Astrid, you're a freshman. How would you know what it's like at Mysidia University?

(**Rosa Farrell **_and _**Cecil Harvey **_like this_)

**Astrid Pollendina**: Wouldn't you like to know? ;)

* * *

**Cuore Mist** || **Rydia Mist**: How is college?

**Rydia Mist**: My roommate is strange.

**Cuore Mist**: I see. And classes?

**Rydia Mist**: Classes don't start until tomorrow, Cuore. :)

**Cuore Mist**: Oh. Right. Best of luck, Rydia.

**Rydia Mist**: Thank you~

* * *

**Astrid Pollendina**: I am ROCKING this semester!

(**Edge Geraldine **_likes this_)

**Edge Geraldine**: Go forth and be awesome, young padawan.

(**Astrid Pollendina **_likes this_)

**Astrid Pollendina**: I'm always awesome. :D

**Cecil Harvey**: I hate to burst your bubble, Astrid, but this is the first day of classes. And Edge – why are you talking like that?

**Edge Geraldine**: Typing, fearless leader. Typing. Star Wars marathon, anybody?

(**Astrid Pollendina **_likes this_)

**Rosa Farrell**: Don't you have class in the morning?

**Edge Geraldine**: You are such a spoilsport.

* * *

**Rydia Mist** _is now friends with _**Edward Muir**

(**Edward Muir **_and _**2 **_others like this_)

**Edward Muir**: Ah, Rydia! How was your first day of classes?

**Rydia Mist**: Challenging. I enjoyed your performance, though.

(**Edward Muir **_and _**2 **_others like this_)

**Edward Muir**: I was just trying to relax everyone for the first day of class. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

**Rosa Farrell**: It really was lovely, Edward.

* * *

**Edge Geraldine** || **Astrid Pollendina**: ASTRID!

**Astrid Pollendina**: Yeeeeees?

**Edge Geraldine**: Who was that lovely lady I saw you eating dinner with?

**Astrid Pollendina**: Why, did you like what you see? ;)

**Edge Geraldine**: Astrid. We've been friends for far too long for you to toy with me like this.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Psh, the fact that we've been friends for so long is exactly why I can pick on you and you know it.

**Edge Geraldine**: Astrid.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Edge.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Oh, all right. You're so lucky I'm not in the mood to make you beg. Her name is Rydia. She's my roommate. Sweet girl. English major.

**Edge Geraldine**: Rydia… Her name is as lovely as her face.

**Edge Geraldine**: And you could never make me beg for anything, Pollendina.

**Astrid Pollendina**: We'll see about that, Geraldine.

* * *

**Rydia Mist**: Who is **Edge Geraldine**? I just got a friend request from him.

**Rosa Farrell**: Oh no. Edge. Leave the girl alone.

(**Cecil Harvey **_and _**2 **_others like this_)

**Astrid Pollendina**: Edge, you sneaky little ninja.

(**Edge Geraldine **_likes this_)

**Rydia Mist**: None of you are actually answering my question.

**Kain Highwind**: Somebody you don't want to get involved with.

(**Rosa Farrell** _and _**3 **_others like this_)

**Edge Geraldine**: That was harsh, Highwind. Still sore about last semester?

(**Astrid Pollendina **_likes this_)

**Rydia Mist**: Please don't get into a catfight on my status. And I still have no idea who you are, so you can forget about having your friend request accepted.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Ooooh. BURN.

(**Kain Highwind **_likes this_)

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**Cecil Harvey**: The first day of classes and already there's drama…

**Kain Highwind**: I don't know why you're so surprised.

**Cecil Harvey**: I was just hoping to be able to avoid it this year, that's all.

**Rosa Farrell**: When you're friends with Edge, drama follows you, dear.

**Kain Highwind**: There's a simple solution to all this, you know.

**Cecil Harvey**: Really, now?

**Kain Highwind**: Yes. KICK THE IDIOT IN THE BALLS.

**Edge Geraldine**: And how would that solve your drama problems?

**Rosa Farrell**: Kain, you do realize that this is a public networking site, right?

**Kain Highwind**: Only a concern if I don't want him to know how much I despise him. Since I do, then it's the perfect place to post my hatred.

**Cecil Harvey**: Drama OFF of my status, please.

**Edge Geraldine**: Whatever you say, your majesty.

**Kain Highwind**: I'm going to kill him.

**Rosa Farrell**: I'm pretty sure that's illegal, Kain.

(**Edge Geraldine **_likes this_)

* * *

**Rydia Mist**: Enough! No more friend requests! This is RIDICULOUS!

**Cuore Mist**: What are you talking about?

**Rydia Mist**: Nothing, never mind…

* * *

**Astrid Pollendina **|| **Edge Geraldine**: It's been two weeks. So much for your cunning plan. Should I just introduce you two?

**Edge Geraldine**: That… might be the optimal choice here.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Fine. Tomorrow, noon, lunch, the picnic tables. Be there or be hopeless.

**Edge Geraldine**: I, hopeless? Never.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Says the man who can't even introduce himself to his lady-love.

**Edge Geraldine**: You know, sometimes I question why we're friends.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Because you love me. :D

**Edge Geraldine**: No. I really don't.

**Astrid Pollendina**: :P

* * *

_A/N: Um. SO GUYS. This is... Yeah. Modern-day AU Final Fantasy IV Facebook shenanigans. Yes, it's completely ridiculous. No, I do NOT apologize for this. XD Well. Here's to hoping that you all enjoy this and that you don't kill me for writing this!_

_(Also, Astrid Pollendina is Cid's daughter. Thanks to Mythweaver for the name!)_


	2. Of Water Bottles and Persistence

Facebook Official

(Chapter Two: Of Water Bottles and Persistence)

**Disclaimer: **I own exactly what I did before. Which is to say, nothing.

* * *

**Edge Geraldine**: That went well.

**Astrid Pollendina**: You've got to be kidding me. SHE THREW HER WATER BOTTLE AT YOUR FACE!

**Edge Geraldine**: And I caught it!

**Astrid Pollendina**: …I fail to see how this is a good thing.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Other than the fact that it didn't break your nose. Which might be a bad thing, now that I think about it.

(**Kain Highwind**_ likes this_)

**Edge Geraldine**: Ha. You're a riot.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Oh, come on. Just tell me why this is a good thing!

**Edge Geraldine**: :D

**Astrid Pollendina**: Oh, THAT'S reassuring. -_-

* * *

**Rydia Mist **|| **Astrid Pollendina**: Could you please talk to Edge for me?

**Astrid Pollendina**: Of course! I was under the impression that you weren't too pleased with him though. Something happen to change your mind?

**Rydia Mist**: I'm NOT, and NO. He has my water bottle and I want it back.

**Astrid Pollendina**: This is the water bottle that you threw at him, right?

**Rydia Mist**: Well, yes. But you should have seen how many friend requests he sent me!

**Astrid Pollendina**: Enlighten me.

**Rydia Mist**: Twenty three.

**Astrid Pollendina**: …Wow. He must really want to get to know you.

**Rydia Mist**: Then he should talk to me. LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Rydia, sweetie, the first thing you need to know about Edge is that he isn't normal. Not even close.

* * *

**Astrid Pollendina **|| **Edge Geraldine**: I see your plan, Geraldine. You sneaky bastard. XD

**Edge Geraldine**: If she wants her water bottle back, she can come get it herself. ;)

* * *

**Rydia Mist**: I have a problem, and his name is Edge.

(**Kain Highwind **_likes this_)

**Kain Highwind**: What did the arrogant hothead do this time?

**Cecil Harvey**: Do you need any help?

**Edward Muir**: Oh, dear… Message me?

**Rosa Farrell**: Oh, no. What happened?

* * *

**Rydia Mist** || **Rosa Farrell**: Rosa?

**Rosa Farrell**: Yes?

**Rydia Mist**: Could you do me a favor?

**Rosa Farrell**: Does this have anything to do with your Edge problem?

**Rydia Mist**: He has my water bottle and he won't give it back. ):

**Rosa Farrell**: I'm on it.

* * *

**Rosa Farrell** || **Edge Geraldine**: Edge. Give Rydia back her water bottle. NOW.

**Edge Geraldine**: Oh, there you are. I was wondering when you'd poke your nose into this.

**Rosa Farrell**: And just what is THAT supposed to mean?

**Edge Geraldine**: You're mothering and you're nosy.

**Rosa Farrell**: I don't have time to deal with your nonsense, Edge. I have homework to do. Now give the poor girl back her water bottle.

**Edge Geraldine**: Make me. :P

* * *

**Rosa Farrell**: Apparently Edge has Rydia's water bottle. Boys? Do something about this.

**Kain Highwind**: As you wish.

**Edward Muir**: Shouldn't we let them sort this out by themselves?

(**Edge Geraldine **_likes this_)

**Kain Highwind**: DISLIKE.

* * *

**Edge Geraldine**: **Rydia Mist**, if you want your water bottle back, you're going to have to come get it yourself. No intermediaries. I'll be waiting.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Wow, no winky face. I'm impressed.

(**Anna Sage **_and _**2 **_others like this_)

**Edge Geraldine**: Bite me.

**Astrid Pollendina**: No, thanks. You're not my type.

* * *

**Rydia Mist**: HA. I am victorious. :)

(**Astrid Pollendina**_ and _**4 **_others like this_)

**Astrid Pollendina**: You go, girl!

(**Rydia Mist **_likes this_)

**Edward Muir**: And so this tale has a happy ending~

**Rydia Mist**: Um, not quite.

**Rosa Farrell**: What? Why?

**Rydia Mist**: Let's just say I had to do some bargaining to get it back.

**Edward Muir**: This does not bode well…

(**Rosa Farrell** _and _**2** _others like this_)

* * *

**Rydia Mist **_is now friends with _**Edge Geraldine**

**Rydia Mist**: THERE. Are you happy now?

**Edge Geraldine**: Very, thank you for asking. :)

**Rydia Mist**: Ugh. Just don't bother me.

**Edge Geraldine**: I make no promises.

**Astrid Pollendina**: I see the start of a beautiful friendship…

(**Edge Geraldine**_ likes this_)

**Rydia Mist**: IT IS NOT.

**Edge Geraldine**: You think that now, but just you wait. ;)

**Rydia Mist**: Don't make me defriend you.

* * *

_A/N: Yes. I wrote the second chapter that fast. What can I say, this is fun~ _


	3. Of Boredom and Awesome Plans

Facebook Official

(Chapter Two: Of Boredom and Awesome Plans)

**Disclaimer: **Enter witty disclaimer here.

* * *

**Edge Geraldine**: I'm bored.

**Kain Highwind**: Lose interest in corrupting the innocent already? I'm surprised at you.

**Astrid Pollendina**: I speak for the innocent when I say that corruption has yet to take place.

(**Rosa Farrell **_and _**4** _others like this_)

**Kain Highwind**: …Hmph.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Really, Kain? Really?

**Rosa Farrell**: Kain, we've had this conversation before. Contribute something meaningful, or don't post at all.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Yeah, like words.

(**Edge Geraldine **_and _**Izayoi Frost **_like this_)

* * *

**Kain Highwind **|| **Izayoi Frost**: Traitor.

**Izayoi Frost**: Excuse me?

**Kain Highwind**: You know what I mean.

**Izayoi Frost**: I might if you told me.

**Izayoi Frost**: You know, using words. Preferably of the English language, though I will accept Spanish, Chinese, and whatever else you want to use Google translate to garble your message through.

**Kain Highwind**: Are you implying that I don't communicate well?

**Izayoi Frost**: You said it; I didn't.

* * *

**Edge Geraldine **|| **Rydia Mist**: I'm bored.

**Rydia Mist**: Good for you.

**Edge Geraldine**: Busy?

**Rydia Mist**: Not particularly.

**Edge Geraldine**: Want to help me liven this place up a little bit?

**Rydia Mist**: No.

**Edge Geraldine**: Why not?

**Rydia Mist: **I friended you only to get my water bottle back. I'm not interested in doing anything with you. And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to ignoring you.

**Edge Geraldine**: If talking to somebody is your definition of ignoring them, I think you need to check a dictionary, miss English major.

**Rydia Mist**: You're infuriating. I hope you know that.

**Edge Geraldine**: And you're stubborn.

* * *

**Astrid Pollendina**: Planning something awesome. You're all jealous.

**Rydia Mist**: Definitely not.

(**Rosa Farrell **_and _**7** _others like this_)

**Cecil Harvey**: I'm more worried than anything else.

(**Edward Muir** _and _**2 **_others like this_)

* * *

**Edge Geraldine **|| **Rydia Mist**: Your roommate is planning something amazing. Interested?

* * *

**Astrid Pollendina **|| **Edward Muir**: Heeeeey, my harp-playing friend!

**Edward Muir**: I hate to be suspicious, but what is that you want?

**Astrid Pollendina**: Oh, nothing much. Just wondering if you and Anna would be willing to open the ceremonies this weekend?

**Edward Muir**: And by ceremonies, you mean…?

**Astrid Pollendina**: Just a little something to brighten up the place.

* * *

**Edge Geraldine **|| **Rydia Mist**: Now, see, THAT is how you ignore somebody.

* * *

**Astrid Pollendina** : Music, check!

(**Edge Geraldine **_likes this_)

**Astrid Pollendina**: You've got the guest list right?

**Edge Geraldine**: If you've got the food.

* * *

**Edge Geraldine** || **Rydia Mist**: I know you're on. The little green circle tells me so – and as we all know, Facebook never lies.

**Edge Geraldine**: Except, of course, for those horrible little moments when it does.

**Edge Geraldine**: …Look. I'll stop sending you messages, all right? Just remember – be at the park at noon on Saturday. And before you freak out, there'll be quite a few people there, so it's not like this is a date. Think of it as a friendly outing with a group of friends and a way to relax for the afternoon.

* * *

**Rydia Mist** _is now friends with _**Anna Sage **_and _**8 **_others_

(**Edward Muir **_likes this_)

**Astrid Pollendina**: Enjoy your lunch?

**Rydia Mist**: Very much so.

**Sheila Li**: Congratulations! You've officially been inducted into the best lunch table on campus!

(**Anna Sage **_likes this_)

**Izayoi Frost**: Indeed. Don't forget what I told you.

**Rydia Mist**: I won't. :)

* * *

**Edge Geraldine **|| **Izayoi Frost**: What did you say to her?

**Izayoi Frost**: Paranoid, are we?

**Edge Geraldine**: Of course not. I'm just a little concerned that you might be poking your nose in where it doesn't belong.

**Izayoi Frost**: As long as you don't try anything stupid, my nose will stay right where it belongs.

* * *

**Edward Muir**: Well, I must admit, I wasn't overly fond of the idea at first, but I find that I'm actually looking forward to this weekend.

(**Astrid Pollendina **_and _**3** _others like this_)

**Astrid Pollendina**: I knew you'd cave.

**Anna Sage**: It'll be nice to get away for a while.

(**Edward Muir **_likes this_)

**Sheila Li**: Planning on sneaking away for a bit, are we?

**Edward Muir**: That is none of your business.

**Anna Sage**: :)

* * *

**Astrid Pollendina **|| **Yang Leiden**: Come on, Yang. You know you want to come.

**Yang Leiden**: I have to study.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Then study afterwards. Coooooome ooooooon, Sheila's cooking!

**Yang Leiden**: …If I promise to consider it, will you stop bothering me about it?

**Astrid Pollendina**: That's all I ask.

* * *

**Edge Geraldine**: Finally! Friday!

(**Astrid Pollendina **_and _**11** _others like this_)

**Kain Highwind**: For once I agree with you.

**Edward Muir**: That's a startling statement for you to make.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Who CARES? Tomorrow's going to be awesome!

(**Edge Geraldine **_and _**3 **_others like this_)

* * *

**Rydia Mist** || **Astrid Pollendina**: All right, all right! I'll come.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Excellent!

**Rydia Mist**: Just don't tell Edge.

**Astrid Pollendina**: I won't

**Rydia Mist**: Good. I don't want him to think that I'm coming because of him. I'm not, you know.

**Astrid Pollendina**: Of course you aren't. ;)

**Rydia Mist**: I mean it, Astrid!

**Astrid Pollendina**: Okay, okay. I won't tell him. I solemnly swear.

* * *

**Astrid Pollendina**: …that I am up to no good. :D

(**Edge Geraldine **_likes this_)

**Rydia Mist**: ASTRID!

* * *

_A/N: Well, that was fun. And silly. And fun. Tune in next time, when we find out just what these people are going to be doing!_


End file.
